Just a couple of short weeks ago, my friend Mitch got down on one knee and proposed to the love of his life (and one of my best girls) Nkechi in the Brooklyn Botanical garden. It was on the 8 year mark of the Spelman/Morehouse brother/sister connection for the class of 2005 (they lucked up on that match).
The proposal story was as romantic & elaborate as one could ever want (he even planned for a photographer to “happen” to be there to capture the actual moments), but it was of no surprise to any of us, because Mitch has always been the rockstar boyfriend (of course because she is a model girlfriend).
I asked them if I could showcase their love & new journey towards marriage on my blog. I asked them the same 5 questions & told them to answer them separately without knowing what the other responded. In a 2 part blog series you will see their answers to the questions…
Q. how long have you known nkechi was “the one”?
A. Our relationship happened so naturally that I don’t remember having that light blub moment that declared Mitch as “the one”. He is so intertwined in my life and the person that I have become and that makes it hard to remember a time that he wasn’t part of it.
Q. what is your fave thing about him?
A. I have a lot of favorite things about Mitch but here are my ultimate faves. Mitch is extremely attentive and supportive. I mention something that I love and can’t live without and he surprises me with it (even though sometimes I forget that I even mentioned it). “Stuff” has never been a huge priority to me because I’ve always had everything I wanted, but his attentiveness and support goes beyond material things. If I told Mitch that I was determined to adopt wild animals or move to the tip of the earth – he’d give me a big hug and help me prepare for that trip. I also love that he is comfortable with himself as a man. He cares about the world around him but he is unaffected and unimpressed by all the hype. P.S. He can also be a complete asshole (I tell him that whenever he needs to hear it).
Q. what is your fave thing to do with him?
A. One of my favorite things to do with Mitch is to introduce him to my childhood friends. From the time I was born I’ve been travelling around the world and existed between Africa, the Middle East, and Europe. As a result, I have many dear friends who I don’t see as often as I’d like. Living in New York is special because when you are from another country, it’s important to visit NY. It’s special to have Mitch meet my friends and listen to crazy stories about me pre-college – it just makes me feel closer to him. I also love to cook with him. He is a more dedicated artist in the kitchen; he reviews technique and is a perfectionist. I love to throw things together (often with a ton spice) and go with the flow. He definitely has control issues while cooking (lol) but I love how passionate he is about creating meals and it’s always awesome to cook with him (even if I’m just designated to dishwasher or sous chef). We take that time to talk about our days or whatever is on our minds.
Q. relationships aren’t easy – what makes your relationship “work well”?
A. I think our relationship works well because we try to be very accepting of each other. I learned a long time ago that I can’t change him and he has never tried to change the person that I am. Our relationship works well because he makes himself available. I won’t feel my relationship was valid if I always had to question his intensions. I’ve never had to question his feelings or worry about whether he was checked into the relationship. I think a good man won’t make a woman worry or question their commitment or sincerity. I know it sounds cliché and people say it all the time, but communication is very important. When we have an argument, I know that we aren’t fighting because we hate each other, but because we haven’t found the right words to resolve whatever the issue may be. So we often take time to hash it out (even if it takes all night) and move past it. Ultimately, we have our best interests at heart; nothing can be that difficult to figure out.
Q. what’s your fave thing to do together in NYC?
A. New York is totally our playground and we make it as big or as small as we feel like on any given day. We have different pockets of friends and we like to mix things up with them. We’ve done everything – great parties, shows, restaurants, clubs, hotels, whatever. How many new and trendy places can we find to go to? I’m sure a million – and we’ll still enjoy those places. But my fave part of New York is sharing it with him.
This Spelhouse/NYC 20something couple radiates love in the most darling way…
stay tuned for Mitch’s answers tomorrow – they’re so sweet!