do you remember the time?

There’s a certain moment in the early stages of dating when you go from having interest to actually liking a person. It’s a moment that you can easily miss if you’re not paying attention (if it’s instant, that’s what they call love at first sight, and those people always remember that moment). But if you think back, you can usually REMEMBER THE TIME you looked up in his/her eyes and thought to yourself “I (actually) like him (or for the guys & lesbians ‘her’)…”


Here’s a story from winter 2007. (there’s an MJ connection in there that made me think of this date)

It’s friday after work and i’m browsing through H&M (I used to LOVE that store, now, I am faithful to Forever) – I get a text from a guy I met over the summer and went out with a couple times saying “I’m in town this weekend, we should hang out”. As usual, I had a jam packed weekend and wasn’t really sure if I had time. But figured that I could probably sneak in a Sunday hangout because it was MLK Weekend (not that I had Monday off or anything).

fast forward to that sunday evening…

I was running late (“some things don’t change” – jessie) but I finally arrived to Native (my fall 2006/winter 2007 uptown restaurant of choice) and he was there waiting.  Dressed casually, but cute. Couldn’t tell you what we talked about over dinner, but I do recall that the conversation flowed, we had mutual friends & there was definitlely a good amount of dry humor involved, which is right up my alley.

Post-dinner, he asked if I was going to the big 3 Kings Party (if you’re not familiar with young black professional NYC scene, my boys Aden/Elkhair throw huge holiday weekend bashes that were the only place to be between  ages of 21 & 23, maybe 24.) Told him I had no plans to go because none of my close girlfriends were interested & I wasn’t that pressed.

But because i’m me, I had 2nd dinner plans downtown with Channing & some friends at STK (can they please trade him back to the Knicks?!). So we rode the 3 train downtown together. Not sure if we were listening to my i-Pod, or his, or both…But the comment made was that we pretty much had the exact same taste in music.  We both claimed to have more love for Michael Jackson than anyone we knew and decided to name our Top 5 MJ songs & had a few in common. We were singing along, laughing, and something about that energy made me look up at about 72nd st. and think to myself “I like him…” and then I had butterflies (I will always be like a 14 year old when it comes to crushes & butterflies..that phase never passed).

Just before his stop to transfer he reminded me that I should come to the party and hang out. Even though 15 minutes prior, I was so-so on the invite, this time, I knew I would be seeing him later, because I officially had a crush. I went to dinner and of course my bff asked how the date went…told her I liked him & asked her to roll with me to the party, she said no, but I went anyway.

We danced the night away & I had an absolute ball…


I am a lady on the go (I get it from my Mama)The opportunity cost of a date is time that I could’ve spent alone (I love/need/appreciate these seldom momemts to recharge) or with my friends. I suppose that’s a lot to be up against early on, but those are the cards that have been dealt. If my attention isn’t grabbed, it will be lost.

For example, in this story, had we never had the MJ moment on the subway, I would’ve said no to hanging out later that day at the party because I would’ve stayed with my friends for more drinks at STK. Had I not partied w/him that night, he probably would have sensed a lack of interest(which actually had nothing to do with him personally), and kept it moving.

Hmm, i’ve never thought about it like that, but at least now I’ve uncovered yet another layer of my mind (writing this is a form of therapy, lol).

But anyhow, that was just a little story about remembering the time when things go from interest to like…it’s kind of a nice time because there are zero issues to face after date 2.




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