I’m not so kid-friendly…

I LOVE the children in my immediate or extended family. I respect children who are well behaved in public. In general, i’ve always liked kids who are stylish and those who wear glasses.

But, in NYC I really don’t like like kids.

Setting: Bar Pitti on a sunny friday evening. Servers and hosts are
uber italian, models and hipsters, sidewalk seating…a NYC scene.


When I’m thinking I’m fabulous, having dinner where the celebs link up, catching up with my best girlfriends about love and work lives I don’t want your child dancing around at the table next to me. I don’t think it’s cute for her to sit in the empty sit at my table for fun. I don’t even want to listen to her ridiculous kid conversation by accident. Nor do I want to have to watch my mouth or not tell raunchy stories because she’s there. And because all of these things are happening, No, I’m not smiling back at you or your child. I don’t have children because I don’t want them. And if i don’t want mine, I damn sure don’t want yours.

I know it sounds rude (because it is) but kids belong in kid places.

For example, when I take my darling Jaelyn to dinner to catch up, we
go to Johnny Rockets, Fridays, or Applebees.
Not because I
particularly want to go there, but because that’s where kids belong –
places that have crayons, balloons, kids menus, and other
parent/children patrons.

Maybe I’m an a-hole because I don’t get it since I’m not a Mom.  But can there be rules about this?
Can there be no children signs or a ‘with child’ section of nice restaurants? Or would that be against some type of civil right? Are places legally allowed to turn down people with children under 10?

As usual, I googled it, looks like Brooklyn is yet again, ahead of the curve….


here’s an article posted on gothamist.com:

Brooklyn Restaurant’s Stroller Solution

After Union Hall banned strollers (and the little ones who ride in them) — a line was drawn in the sandbox, waging a full on war between the childless and the stroller pushers. But could there now be a light at the end of the tunnel? The Brooklyn Paper is reporting on a possible solution, at least at Water Street Restaurant in DUMBO.

The restaurant has joined forces with Parent Play, a company where you can make dinner and babysitter reservations all with one call. The first Brooklyn restaurant to team up with the company (three Manhattan restaurants already have), Water Street is now offering up on-site babysitters so parents can dine while their children are watched in a separate room. If you want to use the service, it’ll add an extra $18 to $30 onto your bill (depending on how many kids).

The idea is almost as perfect as, say, getting a babysitter to come to your home while you go out — albeit this is a simpler, cheaper solution. Will it make everyone happy? It will certainly be appealing to those who can’t find a spontaneous sitter, and the childless customers will be able to eat in peace. As the eatery’s owner says, “Anything’s better than having screaming children in a restaurant.”

Will other Brooklyn restaurants clear out their wine cellars to make way for romper rooms?


I sure hope so!




5 thoughts on “I’m not so kid-friendly…

  1. This was by far the funniest post Kim! I died laughing and I totally agree as you already know.

  2. I couldnt agree with you more..I feel your right to bring your obnoxious child out to the restaurant ends where my right to have a peaceful adult meal begins…and FYI when you have kids you can no longer go to the late nite movies, or hip trendy restaurants…your life is literally over…your new life however is one you should cherish but it no longer includes those 20something places…Thanks KIM!!!!

  3. you’ll understand when you have kids…sometimes you just want your kid to experience great food and have to take them to chows or nobu lol lol…but i feel you. nothing is more obnoxious and makes me wanna reach over and shake SOMEONE ELSE’s KID UP than an unruly child. a child needs to act like a child

  4. I must disagree with you all.. I have 2 kids, a 5 year old and a 4 month old… I take them every where and the remarks I incounter is how well behaved they are… I take them to kiddie places as wel, but I don’t neglect them from any other place unless they aren’t alowed…My son is very mature for his age and even though he has his kid moments he understands there is a time and a place for it… I feel that if your child isn’t well behaved then by all means feel free to let them know they aren’t wlecomed.. but I wouldn’t close the door on all children.. I’m not just saying this b/c they are my children…oh and as far as your life being over when you have kids… sweetheart it only just begun… If you are a commplete woman you can have everything you want…there are sacrifices but thoses are the best ones…I’m a mother and I don’t feel a day over 24… I feel as though my life hs found a new understanding…Enjoy your life and if and when you decide to have kids, it will be a hell of a journey!!!

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