I seriously have an ongoing love/hate relationship with you.
Today, I hate you because you have killed something I once held dear to my heart – the word “friend”. Something that was once so special to me, and now, because of you, holds close to no meaning, and that absolutely sucks.
I once used to use “friends” as a way to describe the “family” you choose. Now, I find myself having to clarify my facebook relationships with certain people in real life because we are “friends” on facebook. It sounds ridiculous, I know, but it is confusing for some people. In a way, people who I have met once or twice now have access to all kinds of privileged information that once upon a time was only privy to actual friends. These so-called “friends” now can see where I’ve been, who else I’m friends with, and what’s on my mind!
I already know I have a few options of my own without you changing a thing, but here’s what I think of them.
1. get off facebook, no one’s holding a gun to your head to force you into these levels of exposure.
Society holds a gun to my head. I’m too social (and too nosy) to limit myself from this amount of information (gossip). It is absolutely the best way to keep in touch with people without having to actually talk to them. There is a ton of gossip at your fingertips. I promote my blog and anything else I endorse on this lovely site. Again, not mad at the site, mad at the label “friends” that is now used far too loosely due to the popularity of your site.
2. you don’t have to accept people who aren’t really your friends, it’s up to you to determine who can consider you a friend.
I tried my damnedest not to add people I truly have never met (which is why comparitively speaking my 700 friends are nothing in comparison to some). But in retrospect, having met someone once, now is no longer a good filter, I’ve met A LOT of people in my day. But who has time to go back sift through all those people and de-friend people? Not me.
3. adjust your privacy settings
I’ve gone back to withdraw privileges from most a number of occasions. But if I continue this, I might as well not actually be on facebook. If no one can search for me, see pictures of me, or leave a kind note on my wall, why even have facebook??
I’m not the girl who presents a problem without a solution, that’s the worst type.
I’ve come up with 2, please take your pick.
1. Rename this whole “friends” thing to its more generic cousin “acquaintance”. It makes things more clear. No one will confuse an “acquaintance” with someone you know forreal. You will never have to defend your distance from someone who wouldn’t make the cut in real life. Making such a bold statement on facebook as to rename the term from “friends” to “acquaintance” would surely help restore the image & uphold its importance in our culture.
2. Present the option to adjust a secret “level” of friendship.
Level 1 – met this person once pretty randomly, we don’t keep in touch, nor will we ever. please don’t show me their status updates or let them see any of my coveted info (status, pictures, wall). I only accepted them because I thought they were the type to re-add/notice if we still weren’t friends.
Level 2 – Know this person well enough. Maybe a friend from high school, college, a job, even a friend of a friend who you don’t keep in touch with. We’ll never actually promote our relationship to email, so loosely staying abreast on one another’s lives through facebook is just right.
Level 3 – My homey forreal. You’re my friend long-distance or nearby, we email/or talk on the phone, and it’s totally cool for you to know what’s on my mind and see my pictures, because you’re probably in them.
Thank you for your time & considering my recommendations to improve your already fabulous online social network. No, I will NOT pay a premium for these changes, get real.