letter from a friend…

I wanted to share a letter that a close friend sent me a while back re: dating in NYC. I searched for it because I thought there was something I might need to re-read in it…and then decided that maybe some ladies who read the blog might find some golden nugget in it as well.



Life truly is a journey and God’s timing is always right. Admittedly, I have recently found myself struggling to hang on to the ideas and ideals that I have historically held true in regards to male/females relationships. I stuggle every holiday as I look at both my siblings and their families and truly want companionship of my own.

At 31 (ugh, yes girl, 31) and single its tough! I battled to not become jaded.

Recently one of my big sister folks got engaged at 33 and that began to restore my hope again. She like ourselves is young,gifted, beautiful and black and has been dating since she was like 23. She had the neverending story with her Morehouse love (and all the drama that comes with it) and the numerous bad dating experiences. Ironically, she ended up engaged and marrying her H.S. sweetheart. (No, we don’t want our high school Loves, Can you imagine if I ended up with _____, Oh LORD. (That’s my boy but not romantically) But, at least we know there is a possibilty out there.

But I would also say a few random words of advice:

  • Don’t be too hard on yourself cause dating in NYC is REALLY HARD. Its an environment of fierce competition and is an all out candy store for men.
  • Never forget you are a SHOW STOPPER. You are a well rounded, brilliant, black woman with a wicked Golf Game. You are the prize.
  • Consider dating a guy in another place. (just go with me on this). Find a guy who is HOT AS HELL but, lives in some place like St.Louis, Houston, Memphis, or Durham etc. That way you can see him on the weekends and you are ALWAYS hotter than the chicks they see on the regular. By the time they look around they are alredy in love with you.
  • Also get them while they are in school(B-School. Med School) thus their time is limited for extraneous crap.
  • I pray on this one myself- Try to remember that things will happen for you when the time is right. Like I said this is a short one cause I haven’t mastered it enough to advise anyone on it yet.
  • Try to find other single girlfriends. This is really really hard because we BOTH have had the same homies for at least the past 10-15 years. But its super hard when you spend so much time with folks that were with you for most stages of your life and have begun to pass you by…..Its a BITCH.But you can do it.
  • Consider relocating.

And lastly, call me if you need me, I’m around or in the library most of the time. I hope this helps.





3 thoughts on “letter from a friend…

  1. Kimmy we were just talking about bullet point 3! I so need to look into that….lol. Thanks for sharing the letter…much appreciated. Love, Kells C.

  2. Mama always says “This or something greater.” When things don’t work out on your time I remember I’m on God’s time and that he has such amazing things in store for me. And, often I’m not ready for what he has in store. Patience is a virtue. Thanks for sharing. I know you have a wonderful man waiting who appreciates the fabulous that is my dear friend Kimmie. All fab ladies in the city need to read this. Forreal!

  3. OH! Wow Kim! This was great!
    I just had a good (or at least I thought it was good) dating situation go so wrong! I was super sad, but I’m moving on.
    Thanks for this!

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